~ About this Blog ~

  This blog consists basically of entries from my older Patrick sites. That way everything is combined into one blog opposed to several.    FYI: Way back when I first created my Patrick websites, I had permission to include the readings/discussions.  Today I am simply transferring them all.     Here's a quick overview of the different sections:    - What are Twin Flames? - Backstory - EVP - Aunt's Reading - Automatic Writing - Readings, Part 1 - Readings, Part 2 - Patrick Dreams, Part 1 - Patrick Dreams, Part 2 - Patrick Dreams, Part 3 - From Patrick - Random Coincidences - Possible Signs & Coincidences - Random Possible Messages - Past Comments - 2011 to 2014 Updates - 2015 to 2016 Updates (Click HERE to view) - Book Coincidences - Creativity Takes Courage - Coincidences in my Writing - Of Lavender, Rabbits and Swans - Developing Clairaudience  - 'Come Back To Me' Soundtrack         * Blogger won't acknowledge when there will be updates, so you can only check for updates by clicking the actual '2015 - 2016 Updates' post. *        My Other Blogs:       To view my regular blog, be sure to click on the link below.   Once Upon A Rambling Blog    (The rest of my blogs - Dreams, Photoshop, Pets - are listed in my profile)    

What are Twin Flames?

  First off, I would like to confess that I am not a fan of the term "Twin Flame."     It sounds too hokey and New Age for my tastes. When I first heard about twins, I didn't take them very seriously because the term itself sounded so ridiculous and made up. I also didn't give the topic much credit simply because most of the sites and forums I'd come across about twins were really, erhm... eccentric, strange, filled with a lot of 'woe-is-me' angst        and a few stories of infidelity. They made me think they were pulling their information out of a box of crackerjacks. I was reading a lot of platitudes which didn't come with any skepticism whatsoever.     Okay, having said that... written below is what I believe about twin flames. And when I say "believe," there is still some skepticism rearing it's head. Not nearly as much as before, but I'd be lying if I said I believe in this 100%.      I don't know how anyone can say they 100% believe, in anything spiritual or paranormal related, without the facts staring them in the face. With ghosts, a person KNOWS they're real when they SEE one when wide awake. But something like twin flames.... how can that be proven through science? It can't. The details of twin flames aside, the key element here seems to be emotion.    Which quite frankly, I'd be skeptical of since ego can get in the way.      The truth of twin flames really does have to be experienced. Otherwise, I can understand how crazy it might sound to some people.  Remember, I was one of those people.    Okay, so I still kind of am. Even though I'm fill-in-the-blank years old, I still haven't fallen in love and I've never had any desire to marry and have children.  And while I do have a romantic mind, I'm also very grounded in reality.  I am certainly not a 'I-can't-live-without-this-man' type of person, so the mere fact that I would even consider that Twin Flames are real says a heck of a lot.   I'm introverted, prefer my alone time, and unless I find 'The One' I really am just not interested and will simply live a life of my own that's on my own terms.  Whether Twin Flames are real or not, it doesn't matter to me. I do find it an interesting theory though.   And to me, that's what it is: a theory.  Personally, I would say my belief that twin flames are real is at about 48 - 50%, so bear that in mind as you read this blog.  I'm more of a skeptic than a believer.  I prefer FACTS.   Just call me an open-minded skeptic!         If I were to describe what I think Twin Flames are, I would say to imagine Yin & Yang. Our twin and ourselves have our own separate identities - formed by life experiences - yet we really are one; like two sides to the same coin. During - rare? - incarnations together, there is usually a large age gap and oftentimes something will invariably keep twins apart. But... I also believe, and for most of us anyway, that our twin is actually in Spirit watching over us from The Other Side. (In such cases, I think of them as a sort of spirit guide or protector).  Rarely will they be on this earth plane with us in the flesh.    Now, is any of this really true? That's up to YOU to decide for yourself. Follow YOUR instincts and inner voice, not anyone else's.   I also think people tend to romanticize twins. I have a feeling it's more about spiritual growth than romantic love.    Not that romance is never there. Far from it. I just think the spiritual aspect of twins is more powerful, hence even incarnating without them.     A lot of people tend to believe that one day, when we've learned all the lessons we've set out to master, that only then will our spirit merge with our twin in the afterlife; our souls will literally become one whole. Personally, I never bought into that theory because it would imply that in the end we don't have our own separate identities. I think that one twin's lessons during an incarnation also affects the other. We learn from each other, and ALWAYS do we have our own individual personalities and sense of self.   The best way I can wrap my mind around the theory of twin flames is that IF we all belong to "soul groups," our twin is simply another soul which is the closest to our own; hence them being our "twin." (Sort of like how most twin siblings here on Earth can feel such a strong connection with each other. They ARE their own person, but they also share a very strong connection). When it comes to these soul groups, I tend to picture a family tree like is used in genealogy. For instance, your twin would just be sitting on the same branch as you and right next to you. Out of all the souls on your branch, your twin is your closest 'neighbor.'    I hope that makes sense.   Everyone else on your branch, or nearer your branch, could be your soulmates. (I call them "Kindred Spirits," as I think the term "soulmate" is often misinterpreted).

 

 

Even I don't 100% know that twin flames are real. I don't even know for sure exactly who Patrick is. It's only that through doing a lot of research, being the recipient of other people's feedback, and paying attention to my own experiences and dreams... I've discovered that him being my twin flame is just one possibility.

  For all I know, he could be anyone and no one can be more skeptical about him than I.  Whoever he is, I think that in the very least I knew him in a past life.   Well, if past lives are real.  I used to be incredibly close-minded about reincarnation, but my (rare) visions and dreams FORCED me to open my mind to the idea.  I really didn't have a choice.   So please understand that even though I've recorded my experiences and theories on this blog, I am still skeptical to a point. To discover the truth, I believe skepticism - and open mindedness - is pretty much key. Both are needed and I'd be a fool not to adopt both.         

The Backstory

    While I was living in Houston, Texas I experienced my first ghostly encounter. I was only 6 or 7 years old at the time, so the experience was very frightening and thoroughly confusing.    And because I was so young when I saw this spirit, he's been a mystery to me for a very, very long time. We're talking around 36 years and counting.     Day-um, I'm old!   Below is a poorly scanned photo of me from around the age I was when I didn't die of fright at seeing a spirit.  (Yep, you heard that right.  While seeing a ghost can make your heart race like you've just guzzled down 3 Red Bull's in one sitting, it doesn't actually kill you).     When you experience something like that - no matter what age - it sticks with you.  I think it stuck with me even more than it normally would have because I was so CONFUSED over this spirit's appearance.  That was the first time I'd ever seen a man dressed like that. I was no more than 6 or 7 at the time, so I didn't even know about the different eras of history.  If I had, his appearance wouldn't have confused me so much.   So here begins the puzzling mystery of Patrick.   
  I was in my bed, unable to sleep. (I distinctly remember having a lot of trouble falling asleep that evening).  I was lying on my right side when I decided to lie on my back. When I switched positions, I saw a ghost kneeling at the end of the bed.   He was looking down as he smoothed out the bed covers. He was actually very immersed in such a tedious task!  He seemed rather serious about it. He was dressed in Renaissance Era clothing, although at the time all I knew was that he didn't look or dress like men of today and that he had very weird hair for a man.  My father certainly didn't have hair like that!     Amidst my immense fear at seeing a ghost, I remember thinking that his hair was very “girly” for a male. (Pageboy hairstyle). His hair was VERY blond and his clothes were VERY fancy. I remember his vest - which I recently learned is actually called a 'jerkin' - as being burgundy. It had vertical stitching, and it ‘puffed out’ a bit between sections.    Sort of like in the photo below, only the sections were wider and had more padding.     I think he might have had on a cape as well, but I don’t know for sure as I was pretty frightened. I tried pinching my sister awake, so that SHE would scream FOR me (Lol!) but I didn't pinch hard enough I guess. (I even remember trying to pinch her enough to wake her, but not enough to actually hurt her. I've always wondered if she would have seen him, too, had I woken her up).    For a long while I watched him concentrating on smoothing out the covers from one end of the bed to the other. When he was on my side… well, the middle of the bed actually as my sister and I slept in the same bed and I was always sleeping smack-dab next to her while holding her hand... he was smoothing the covers, when suddenly he looked up.   He froze and silently stared straight back at me, which terrified me even more because his eyes started glowing. They glowed a very bright white light. Like a light encased inside a thick fog. (TERRIFIED ME.  By that time my fear rocketed to about Def-con Level 1). I’ve always thought that unusual for a spirit, but I’ve been told that that’s normal. He looked very solid, like us, except for those eyes.   Someone told me once that they see that in spirits all the time and call it “love light.” They say the light intensifies with their emotions.   This might sound silly, but the photo below, from Beauty and the Beast, best reminds me of when I saw Patrick that night.  It's the complete and utter shock in the eyes.       I was terrified of the thought of him speaking to me, but all he did was silently stare back at me with those huge bright eyes.  I even remember noticing how he was breathing.  It was like he was trying to even control his breath!  Seriously, if we were playing a game of charades I would have thought he was mimicking a statue.  He was that still.    I really don't believe that he intended for me to see him.  I KNOW he didn't want to frighten me, because from the very first moment that he noticed I was awake and watching him, he tried his best to be completely still and not make any sudden moves.  It seemed to me that either he was shocked that I could see him, or he had thought I was actually asleep when he first started fixing the covers.    Looking back, I think that I scared him!   The only bravery I could muster was ever-so-slowly pulling the bed covers over my head.  I hid beneath those covers for hours that night.  When I finally unearthed the courage to peek over them, he was gone.   After I grew up I had my first visions - (which are still rare) - and started having dreams of living in other eras.  I didn't even believe in past lives back then.  (I realize that not believing in past lives sounds silly – especially coming from a person who readily admits to having seen a spirit dressed in 1500’s clothing fixing the covers at her feet - but there ya have it. I was really close-minded until I was FORCED to pay closer attention).       So while I didn't originally believe in past lives, my nocturnal ramblings were persistent and so I finally became receptive to what was happening.  I felt it would be a mistake to ignore it.   So that was how the continual search began for me. First I was frightened, but then I became curious.  I wanted answers. I needed answers, and to this day I'm still searching.     Like some resolute archaeologist, I try my darnedest to dig deeper and deeper still into all these mountains of questions I've had since childhood.  Only, instead of digging for answers with a brush and trowel I had to start paying closer attention to the abracadabra stuff: my dreams at night... unexpected flashes... evp... clairaudience... and dare I say it?  Tarot Cards!  (To this day I'm skeptical of tarot cards, but when communication with Patrick was at an all time high several years ago I discovered that there actually exists some truth to them.  Their destiny didn't last in the long run - well, for me anyway -  but for a time there they did work.  That was such an unexpected surprise to me).   Out of all those 'tools' I had to familiarize myself with in order to unearth answers, I discovered that dreams were the most powerful.  Dreams and coincidences/synchronicity actually.  With the dreams I couldn't ignore the emotions, and with the coincidences I couldn't ignore the facts.   But still -- learning his name was one of the biggest questions I had, and thanks to my aunt - and years later a stranger - I was simply told that his name was Patrick.   It took 24 years to learn that, so let's be honest.... patience is key.    I guess that means astrology isn't total bunk either, seeing how Taureans are said to be patient individuals.      Just FYI -    Whenever I mention "Dr. MacNeill" from the Christy tv series in one of my dreams, it's the actor in the video below. I would fastforward to around the 9 minute mark to see him:        And then there's another thing worth mentioning.  In a lot of dreams I know it's actually Patrick because of his eyes. There's just no denying it.  When I have a dream where I see his eyes... it feels familiar and to be honest also uncomfortable at times.  (I'll explain that later in one of the Dreams sections).   These photos - of "Dr. MacNeill" from the retired Christy tv series and Scots actor Gerry Butler in Attila - remind me of Patrick's eyes in some of those dreams.  (Good Lord do I love that Gerry Butler!)          Also, the pictures below are the closest I can find that looks like Patrick. They aren't exact of course - (I mean, duh... Brad Pitt? ) - but it's the best I can find. It's the hair and chiseled features more than anything.     I'd give almost anything to one day have a spirit drawing of Patrick.      

Electronic Voice Phenomenon

Just a few possible EVP's of Patrick:  

  I don't fully trust EVP, as I have captured a few negative one's before, so I would be skeptical.    There is no surefire way to prove whom the owner of any evp’s are. Spirits are just people passed on, so naturally some of them aren’t friendly or very mature. It really is more productive trying to communicate with spirits without contacting them through evp.  Even back when I tried receiving evp's, I didn't ask questions.   I just set out the recorder inside a quiet room and vacated the premises.    Only ONE time did I sit down with the recorder and ask questions, and that was when I received my first evp ever of him.  It said "I miss you, m'lady.  My Becky."  (This was sometime after the year 2000).   Oddly enough, I didn't even hear the "My Becky" part until years later when playing it back again.  Also, my sister once told me that she thought my name in that past life was "Becky."     It was years later that I first discovered the "My Becky" part of the evp, so when I first heard that name on the evp... and then remembered that my sister said that same name... it was confirmation that she was correct about my name back then.  It was quite a surprise which doused some of my skepticism.   When I first began evp, I didn't yet know about any sound filtering programs, so since I was always rewinding the cassette tape to decipher anything... I destroyed the evp.  I've since tried getting it back through sound filtering programs, but I've never succeeded.  Fortunately, however, there are other evp's so all isn't lost.   So... if you’re ghost hunting for fun, evp has its place I guess. (But be prepared for anything.  For a brief period of time, at our old house in Pearland, I received the strangest kinds of evp.  It was like listening to regular people, like you and me, living out their daily lives.  Some of them even sounded exactly like myself and others I know.  It was like some parallel universe, which freaks me out to be perfectly honest. This happened for about a month, and then after that it was dead silence.  All I know is that those voices did NOT belong to spirits passed on.  No way). If it’s for someone you know that has passed on, however, it’s best to trust your intuition and pay heed to those dreams.  Get to know that spirit’s energy, too, b/c spirits can disguise themselves. It’s happened to me before, but I always catch it.  They tend to give themselves away somehow, and as I said before – these days I have a feel for Patrick’s energy. It’s taken me around 27 years to recognize it.    Of course, for decades of those 27 years I never tried finding answers about who Patrick is. I just knew him as ‘that ghost.’ He was a very strange mystery, which I felt would never be solved. I didn’t even attempt solving it back then.      The evp's below are the one's I feel deep down in my gut really are him. I can't explain it, but they sound and feel... well, familiar.   These are easier to hear with headphones, and laptops aren't the best for listening to them. (And if there's a strange hum/noise in the background it was a Hemi-Sync Wave that I was using for white noise.  Sometimes it's easier to catch evp with background noise).   For the most part, however, I think these particular files can be heard fine without headphones... but if it's a laptop you're gonna need the headphones.   FYI - These evp's came about quite a bit after my aunt did that first ever reading on him. I had never even tried getting evp before then.         "Wake Up! Be-cky."     This is by far the highest quality evp I've ever caught of Patrick.  It is fantastic, and the first time I heard it I just about wet my drawers.  Lol!  This evp appeared the second I entered the room to turn off the recorder. I gotta admit that freaked me out a little.  Lol! The first part is a very loud whisper, and the last word is said in a very deep voice.  The first part is loud enough to hear without headphones, but the second part is cut off a bit early at the end.  It's like that because I didn't hear that part until after I had already edited and uploaded it.          "Be-cky, Becky, Becky... I miss you."   The volume might have to go nearly all the way up on this one. Just remember to turn it back down before listening to the other clips.  This is one of my favorites.  It feels comforting to me somehow.          "Noooo, stop it!"     Just like with the "Wake Up" evp, this one creeped me out a bit too.  It made me feel like that because this one happened just seconds after I turned on the recorder. The squeak you hear at the beginning of the clip is actually me closing my bedroom door right after turning the recorder on.  So yeah.... yet again here's an evp happening when I either just turned on the recorder or was seconds away from turning it off.         And above is the same evp, only slowed down and without the door squeaking in the beginning.          "I called you... Becky."     The last syllable of 'Becky' is sort of like an echo.   >     "Please."    This one is a little faint.
    "Rebecca."   This one is near the end of the clip and is also pretty faint.

"Becky, love to find you."     To me, the first word sounds like a different voice since it's higher pitched. Also, the last word here has an accent. Sounds Scottish, or something similar. Maybe even Wales or Holland? I've been told Patrick is Scottish, but I really have no idea. I definitely hear an accent though.          Laughter   The clip above is the original version. I really love the laughter evp.  The laughter here... it feels so familiar and so incredibly comforting to me.  It surprises me how strongly I connect with hearing it.       And this is the same clip with noise reduction.         "O-kay, Be-cky. I can't have it.... I love you. I do miss you."   The music in the background is from Charlie Brown's Christmas. Lol!  Mom and I were putting up the Christmas tree when this evp took place. (November 24, 2007)   Note:    I gotta admit that this particular evp befuddles me.  Maybe I'm over-analyzing, but the beginning "O-kay Be-cky" part of this evp sounds a little mocking to me, and the "I can't have it" part sounds frustrated or maybe even a little angry.  But then the "I love you.  I do miss you" part sounds 100% sincere and almost sad.       And here is the clip in it's entirety: (In the beginning and end of this clip you can also hear my mother and myself talking).  
7 sec - "Miss you."
10 sec - (indecipherable)
24 sec - "I thought you loved me."
28 sec - "I want to keep you." (This is heard better when filtered)
40 sec - "O-kay, Be-cky. I can't have it."
46 sec - "I love you."
49 sec - "I do miss you."