2015 - 2016 Updates

October 27, 2016

My Stubborn Protector



I had a dream last night, related to Patrick as well as another dream I had - about another spirit - several years ago.  I listed both dreams in the "Patrick Dreams - Part 2" section HERE.

Just look for the dream near the bottom of the page titled 'A Hovering Spirit/Aura.'  (That's the older dream, and the dream I had last night is listed directly after it).

And something I didn't mention in that dream section is that the next morning, as I was talking to my Mom while she was getting ready, she said she heard a male voice.  (She doesn't know who it was, as it came too quickly.  All I know is I heard one of my dogs, Abby, come into the living room and yawn.  I said something to her, and that's when Mom said she just heard a man say something).  Also, that same night - which was last night - she opened my door and asked if I had just said something to her.  I told her that I hadn't.  I hadn't made a sound because I was listening to music on my laptop, and the sound on my tv was really low.  She said she swore she had just heard my voice saying "Momma, thank you!"

This has happened before, in our last house in The Woodlands/Spring area.  That time it was morning and she heard me scream "Mom, help me!"  She went upstairs to my room and saw that I was sound asleep.

I still don't know what that was about.



October 5, 2016
Hello, Ladybug



Yesterday morning I decided to ask Patrick for another sign... seeing how I'm so skeptical when it comes to signs, I admit.... so I asked that this time the sign be a ladybug.

Nothing happened all day, but then this morning I went outside to change the hummingbird feeders.  On one of the feeders there was a ladybug, which I suspected might be the case.  I mean, come on... it's a feeder and it's outside and I live in the country.  Ladybugs love to hang out on the feeders.

So of course... I'm not counting it.  If, however, I do see ANOTHER ladybug today I'll open my mind to the possibility that it was something after all.

It's as I said, I'm a skeptic.  (And I've been told Patrick has trouble with signs; probably because of me, at least partly.  I hear his talents really lie at impressing things upon people).

I also think part of the problem is I asked for a lousy sign.  Ladybugs are too common here.

Update:

On October 13th a new free Photoshop Brush showed up on my FB page.  It's called "Ladybug."



There was also another ladybug on one of the hummingbird feeders a couple days ago, but as I said --- ladybugs on a hummingbird feeder aren't uncommon here.

I still don't think any of these are signs.  The Photoshop didn't show up until about a week later, so of course that's why I'm skeptical.  The timing for it is pretty late.

11-2 Update:

 I also think this is nothing, but tonight someone mentioned this on their FB page -

"My inside and outside of the house is being bombarded by ladybugs. They aren't those fake ladybugs, but ladybugs (they aren't orange, but red)."

 The ONLY reason I mention it here is because a few days ago I wrote down my 'Stubborn Protector" dream that I just had, and at the end of writing it down I mentioned a tarot reading I did from this person's FB page.  (I'll not ramble about it here).  So that's really the only reason why I'm mentioning it; the coincidence of something they shared on FB echoing something I had dreamed about or - in this case - mentioning on FB a sign I had asked for a while back.

I still lean think there's a 95% chance it's all nothing.  I mean, think about it.  I asked for the ladybug sign about a month ago!  I know it could be confirmation, but still... I'm a skeptic.

12-25 Update:

We recently had hundreds of ladybugs here. They're obviously migrating, so... no sign there.



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September 21, 2016

An Accordion, Aberdeen & a Hello

I am freaking out a bit here.  (Good freaking out.  Don't worry).

So for a couple weeks now I've been creating this blog.  I've become obsessed with it actually.  (Once I start a project, I live and breathe it).  Because I was working on this site, and because I'm simultaneously such a skeptical yet open-minded person when it comes to Patrick, I decided to gather the courage to ask Patrick for a sign.

I've been told before that Patrick might have trouble with giving me signs, and that his strongest ability is impressing things upon people.  (Sort of like The Phantom  ).  Of course, I think another part of the problem is me because I second guess any possible signs from him.  I mean I am really, really skeptical so if he ever really does send them to me I must frustrate the everlasting hell out of him with my skepticism.

So the other day - on September 19th I believe, which was the day before my niece's 20th birthday.  It also would have been my Grandma's birthday - I decided that my sign needs to be something strange and uncommon.  I wanted it to be something you don't see everyday, so I decided on my sign being an accordion.

Well, a few hours later I decided to peruse this one section of my Patrick novel that I wrote.  (I've been seriously pondering editing it and trying to find a literary agent for it again).  Inside this one passage I read this:

  Following Elsie’s question was the sound of a book dislodging from the shelf and dropping to the soft carpet at her feet. As Lexie eyed the pages flipping back, accordion-style, the vision of Iain reading to her in front of the fire flashed unexpectedly.

Naturally, I was skeptical that that was my sign.  I felt that if it was indeed the sign, it was supposed to be special; seeing how it's through my book that I wrote that's loosely based on Patrick.  But still... I felt like it didn't appear very boldly and that it would be 'weak' of me to accept it as my sign so blindly.  I didn't want to sucker myself into believing it.

The next day I was sitting here in my bedroom, on my laptop.  Nothing good was on tv, so I switched the channel.  The show that appeared on the tv was that Charlie's Angels movie with Drew Barrymore.  I didn't care to watch it, so I started to switch the channel but didn't because I could hear an accordion in the scene that was playing.  I tried to rewind it, but of course it wouldn't because the tv had only been on that channel for a few seconds.

I STILL wasn't convinced that that was my sign, because in that scene you never even see the actual accordion.  You just hear it.  (I know that now because the movie aired twice in a row and I purposely made myself keep it on that channel to see the beginning of that scene).

So I decided to just stop with the analyzing and asking for signs.

Fast forward to this afternoon.  I'm in my bedroom working on this blog again.  I do an internet search for any silly knight/white horse smileys that I could add to an entry on here.

The one I decide to upload is the one pictured below:

 

I decided on it for 3 reasons: I wanted a knight.... a white horse... and to my surprise this particular knight smiley had a feather on its helmet.  (In readings that Nat did, she mentioned a few times that Patrick was wearing a silly cap with a feather in it).

As I'm uploading the smiley to the internet, I'm working on my blog post but on my laptop speakers I hear a man's voice say "Hi."

It took me off guard because I'm not used to hearing any ads or anything on this laptop.  I never hear them because I keep my headphones plugged into my laptop at all times.  The only reason I heard anything coming from my speakers at all was because I had unplugged them earlier - when taking my laptop to the other room to show my mother a picture I saved the other day- and forgotten to plug them back in.

Because I was curious over how common that ad is, I purposely didn't plug the headphones back in. I've been uploading pictures to the internet all day and I've yet to have actually heard any ads with sound.  Because of that, coupled with the fact that it was the knight smiley on a white horse that I was uploading when I heard the voice, I've been seriously wondering if that ad playing only one word in that moment was a sign from Patrick?

I guess it's the "Hi" message that's important here.  It was his way of saying Hello, and of all times while I was uploading a... well, a cartoon version of him I suppose. Lol!

But wait, there's more.  I'm still a little shocked by what I'm about to type.

Here I go:

So I was just sitting here, working on this blog.  I became curious about those corny poems I wrote way back when, which I think are related to Patrick.  (On a subconscious level of course, seeing how when I wrote those poems I didn't yet know anything about Patrick and I hadn't even begun searching for answers about who he could possibly be).  I decided to find the flash drive that all my old Patrick notes are on, so that I could read the actual poems... ridiculously corny as they are.

During my search for the poems in that Word document, I find an old dream - a dream that I had way back in high school I believe, where a white horse and singer Jordan Knight are present - that I never added to my Patrick blogs in the past.  It was a really silly dream because in it Jordan Knight kept falling off the horse.    (If Patrick helped formulate that dream I think it proves he has a sense of humor.  Back then I loved Jordan Knight, and in this dream he's basically an idiot that can't even mount a horse).  I just found it pretty funny that today I uploaded a silly knight on a white horse smiley, and then tonight I stumbled across a silly dream with Jordan Knight falling off a horse.  The parallel of both the smiley and the dream being similar and comical... well that just made me laugh.

Quick A-ha Moment:

I just remembered that the other day - yesterday I think - I said out loud to myself that one of my favorite Patrick dreams was the one where he used a few smileys.  I loved that dream because it was just so different, got straight to the point, and was so funny and easy to remember.  Oh, wow!  Maybe when I'm talking to myself I'm not really talking to myself.  I'm being stalked.  How very Phantom of the Opera-ish. 

I decide - for a couple reasons - that that old Jordan Knight/white horse dream is worth adding to this new site, but then I see something else in the Word document that captures my attention.

It's a section of me talking about the "Knight Angel for Truth Spirit Drawing" message/sign.  I realized that there was one silly part about that (concerning The Phantom actually) which I should just go on ahead and add to my blog just because it was funny.  (I had originally only added the serious/Patrick part of it). 

Directly after that passage I see something about roses in Aberdeen, Scotland.  I realize that I really needed to add that about the roses in the Aberdeen post of this blog as well.  (I tell ya, it's exhausting being OCD).

So I start adding all these new passages to this blog.  I begin with the poems and Knight Angel For Truth sections, and once I'm done with those I'm happy to realize that the Aberdeen section that I needed to add to is inside the actual blog post I was working on.  (Meaning I didn't have to save the post I was working on and then search for which post the Aberdeen section is in).

It's a little after 10pm by now, and tonight's rerun of the new Ghost Hunters episode is on.  I don't even watch Ghost Hunters anymore, but it's my mother's favorite show and every Wednesday it records on the tv in my room.  Because it had recorded just a couple hours before, and because I hadn't bothered changing the channel as I worked on this blog, I think I might have received some signs from Patrick through that episode.

You ready?

 So Ghost Hunters is airing on the tv, but I'd been ignoring it for quite a while.  I'm just starting to work on adding to the Aberdeen section of this blog when all of a sudden my ears hear Ghost Hunter Dave Tango utter the name "Aberdeen."  Yes, ABERDEEN!  I hear him saying "Aberdeen" when at the exact same time I'm beginning to add to the Aberdeen section of my blog post.

What are the odds?

I'm quite taken aback, so I rewind the episode a bit and hit the record button. When I start playing that section back, I realize that I had heard him right.  He really did say "Aberdeen."

I then realize that the time stamp on the show (as in the cameras they use on their investigation) reads 11:12 pm.  Those are just 1's and 2's, and those are numbers that I used to see constantly on the clocks.  Those are soulmate/twin flame numbers.

Next I decide to see if this was tonight's new Ghost Hunter episode or an old one, so I click the 'Info' button on the remote control.  I discover that it's the new episode and its title is "Angel of Death."

I found that just a teensy bit odd because just a few minutes earlier I was working on the "Knight Angel for Truth" section of my blog post.

To me, that's A LOT of possible signs for one day.  That last one is grasping at straws I think, but the others.... I'm really beginning to wonder.

And the fact that the possible Aberdeen sign was on GHOST Hunters is a little funny too I guess.  Patrick is a spirit after all.

September 10, 2016
Another 'Flash' of Patrick



Since moving to the country we've had limited internet until recently.  This means I can now use my laptop again and get online anytime I wish. I've learned that I've missed unlimited internet - and the freedom of having internet 24/7 - more than I thought I had.

A few weeks ago I decided to see if there were any 'oldies' shows to watch on YouTube like I used to do.  I discovered that "Faerie Tale Theater" was still on there and that even more episodes of "The Ghost and Mrs. Muir" tv show were there as well.  (Before, I saw most of the episodes but a few of them were extremely poor quality).  I also looked for the original Star Trek, seeing how I've only seen a handful of those episodes.  (Back when our house was being built we were renting a family friend's house on 64 acres.  We had no internet there and only got about 6 channels on the tv and Star Trek aired on one of those channels each night). I searched for any episodes on YouTube, but turns out there were none.

Fast forward to about 2 weeks ago and my mother tells me that "The Ghost and Mrs. Muir" tv show from the 60's is airing on tv.  What are the odds?

Then over the weekend there was a Star Trek Original Series marathon on tv.  Again, what are the odds?

 Okay, I'm rambling now so I'll try to circle back to the topic at hand.

While watching the Star Trek episode titled "Shore Leave," I laughed at how ridiculous the costumes were.  In this one episode they were on a planet where your thoughts become reality.  Dr. McCoy thought to himself that this planet was like something from Alice in Wonderland, and lo and behold he turns to see a huge white rabbit... (in reality a man in a costume.  lol!)...

 

... followed by Alice herself.

(Yes, I admit.  Because of the white rabbit it make me think of Nat's reading with the white rabbit Patrick was holding).

So I keep watching this episode and in one of the scenes between Dr. McCoy and some actress wearing a Renaissance dress that she found, I had a quick 'flash' of Patrick inside my mind.

Now, I have not had this happen for YEARS.  This one lasted a couple seconds, but I must say.... it was really vivid.  I saw him in an outdoor setting on a sunny day.  I saw him from head to toe this time.  (My vision/flash of him that I've had before was a close up of his face).  He was wearing burgundy clothing; fancy clothing.  I even saw a sword hanging down from his left hip. That little detail took me by surprise for some reason. If that was a legitimate vision/flash, I now know he's right handed. Lol!

After this happened I even made it a point to think really hard on if this 'flash' of him looked similar to someone I actually know or a celebrity.  It just felt too FAMILIAR and VIVID for me to pass off as imagination.  I kept looking for a logical explanation because seeing him as I did felt REAL.

I know it's easy to say I just had this flash of him because the episode reminded me of him... because of the white rabbit and the lady's Medieval/Renaissance dress.

 

But in all honesty... I am always thinking of Patrick in some form.  What I mean by that is that he's always in the back of my mind.  When you have an experience like I did, seeing a spirit from another time era when you're still a young child, you never really get past something like that.  It becomes a part of you.

But whether the flash/vision I had of him was influenced by watching that episode or not... it felt real to me.  It took me by surprise, that's for sure.

For a few seconds it felt like actual proof.  That's how familiar and real it looked and felt.



March 1, 2015

“Come Back To Me”

 I was sitting on the floor in the living room. Mom was on the couch, looking out the window. Out loud, she said that she didn’t know why, but as she was staring out the window at the dreary weather – the rain, the fog, the bare trees – all that came to her head was the phrase “Come Back To Me.” 

She said she didn’t know why those words were in her head, but that it was depressing… just like the weather outside. 

I must confess that when she shared that – and completely out of the blue - I had a lot of questions. It just made me wonder two things: 

1). Is Patrick really for my mother after all, and all my dreams/possible signs/messages/coincidences/evp’s/etc were all just a lie? Was it a fluke that I was the one that saw his spirit when I was a child? 

2). Because Mom does have some mediumistic abilities (which she chooses to tune out), was Patrick trying to communicate TO me THROUGH my mother? Is what Nat said correct? Does Patrick impress things upon others to try to give me messages in hopes that it would trigger a memory for me? Did Mom’s phase of collecting rabbit trinkets happen because he was trying to get ME to remember that past life? Did she hear “Come Back To Me” because I was in the room with her and he was talking about me? 

Or was it all for her? 

If it was all for her, why would he not try to stop me, through all these many DECADES, from actively searching for answers about him? What am I to believe then about the dreams I’ve had… the evp’s… hearing his (alleged) voice with my own ears… the readings Nat did… the reading my aunt did… my sister saying my name in that PL was “Becky,” and then YEARS later I realize that an evp I captured was his voice saying “Becky.” Why would he even bother with the evp’s – and everything else - if he weren’t for me? I was the only one actively searching for answers. No one else. 

“Come Back To Me” is even what I titled my last book, which is loosely based on Patrick. That phrase has been in other places, too; even in a dream that I had once. In this one particular dream I saw a television set with scrolling text on the screen. The words read – “Kristin, you said you would come back to me.” 

I don’t know. As always, searching for answers pertaining to Patrick always ends with more questions. I didn’t title this blog “The Continual Search” for nothing.

I titled it that because it’s true.